Here is a poem by the great John Cooper Clarke about hire cars.
www.johncooperclarke.com
HIRE CAR By John Cooper Clarke
double park - don't lock the door
push the pedals through the floor
give it loads and then some more
it's a hire-car baby
with the stick - grind the gears
watch that distance disappear
never yours in a thousand years
it's a hire-car baby
hire-car, hire-car
why would anybody buy a car?
bang it, prang it, say ta ta
it's a hire-car baby
by the way, you're on the streets
save yourself a couple of sheets
collision rate will keep it sweet
it's a hire-car baby
show this motor no respect
bump it, dump it, call collect
what else do the firm expect
it's a hire-car baby
drive the motherfucker anywhere
just like you don't care
put it down to wear and tear
it's a hire-car baby
pray the person who hired it last
didn't drive it quite so fast
this dakarum dodgem doesn't last
it's a hire-car baby
try not to kill yourself
or injure anybody else
don't forget to fasten your belts
rent it, dent it, bang it, prang it
bump it, dump it, scorch it, torch it
crash 'n' burn it, don't return it
lost deposit, let 'em earn it
who cares, it's on the firm
..it's a hire-car baby
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